We get a lot of questions. I really don’t mind them. I blog about my life for crying out loud, I’ll
tell you anything.
One of the most common “sets” of questions has
to do with other children. It usually
goes something like this:
Total
stranger: Oh my goodness. Are those triplets?
Me: Yes.
Total
stranger: Do you have any other children?
Me: No, just these three precious little girls.
Total
stranger: Are you going to have any
more?
This
is where I have to hit my internal pause button. A normal person would probably say, “I don’t
know!” or, “We’ll see!” I just can’t do
that. I want to give an honest answer,
even if it’s to a total stranger.
I
would love more children, at least one more.
Maybe two. Or three. Roll the dice. But, when you walk the road of infertility,
decisions like these are not so easy to make.
Last year I walked into Babies R Us to purchase potty training gear. Baby fever hit me like a ton of bricks. Seriously, I think my uterus caught on
fire. I rushed home to my husband to
share the good news. “Wow,” he replied, “Let’s
pray about it.”
Do
not doubt for a second my husband’s intention to pray. I knew he would. That’s how he makes most of his major life
decisions. He takes his time and
meditates. Not me. I was ready to RUMBLE!
I
know what he was thinking. What if we
didn’t get pregnant right away? Would I
take another dose of crazy pills? Would I
drive everyone around me nuts? Would I
have to take Clomid again? What if we ended up with octuplets?
And
then there’s adoption. We started the
process before the girls were born. It
still tugs at my heart strings. I am not
convinced that building our family through adoption is a closed chapter in my
life.
So
today, when the stranger asked, “Are you going to have more?” I answered (perhaps not honestly), “No, we're
through. We had to work really hard to
get these three little blessings.”
What
do you think? How do you know when you’re
“through” having children?
Elizabeth, Hendley, & Mary Ellis, aged 10 days. This photo was taken the night before Elizabeth and Hendley left the NICU and it was the first time I had the opportunity to hold the three of them together.
I know what you are going through Amy. My heart won't take another pregnancy. I get asked the question almost daily it seems. Someone always tries to "convince" me that parenting isn't that hard and we should have another (as if it's our choice to be done because we didn't like the experience). I hope one day it will get easier. I get baby fever every time I go into Babies R Us too. I have to avoid the Target baby section. I walk clear to the other side of the store the long way so that I don't have to drive my cart by it!
ReplyDeleteI wrote a similar post when I mentioned having my hands full and being "done" and a mother of 5 called me a "chicken." While we are done & have taken long-term but non-permanent measures, I have always said that if God forbid something happen to one of my boys I would probably want another child. I also know all things are in His plan and not mine, so I try to trust in that as well. I love that you have a heart for adoption.
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