A Legacy of Lessons

I met Dr. John Hoyle in the spring of 1998.  He and his wife, Carolyn, agreed to escort twelve naïve females from the Texas A&M College of Education to our summer study abroad program in Italy.  Prior to our expedition, we met with Dr. Hoyle each week to learn about Italian culture and to discuss the “need to knows” of our upcoming study program.  At that time I did not know the important role he would play in my life or how much I would grow to love him and sweet Carolyn. 

 Dad and Mom Hoyle in Venice

Our summer in Italy provided adventure, escape, and amazing opportunities for exploring another culture.  It also created a little Italian-American Aggie family.  By the end of our journey Dr. and Mrs. Hoyle became Mom and Dad Hoyle and forever secured a place in my heart.

Dr. John Hoyle died on Tuesday, March 12 from complications of leukemia. The impact he left behind is wide and great.  I have struggled with his death.  I have been working on this blog post since I learned of his passing.  I want to share some of his goodness with you.  So, after sifting through my memories and my journal, I have compiled and transcribed five of the many lessons I learned from Dad Hoyle that summer in Italy.

Lesson #1:  For our first assignment Dad Hoyle challenged us to write about our lives fifteen years into the future.  He titled the project our, “future scenario.” When outlining our instructions he noted that our future scenario had to paint a positive picture of our lives because we were all amazing people.  He said that when we look in the mirror we may not like all that we see but we should be pleased with most of it.  Little came true from my future scenario paper I wrote fifteen years ago.  I did not earn a law degree.  I did not open a charter school.  I can, however, continue to apply those instructions from Dad Hoyle each day when I wake up and assess the dark circles, crow’s feet, and smile lines.  No one likes the wrinkles and the grey hairs.  There are even some things about my insides that I don’t like.  But I should be pleased with most of it.  And so should you.

 A Father's Day Celebration for Dad Hoyle

 

Lesson #2:  The corridor that leads into Michelangelo’s David holds the four, fantastic, Unfinished Slaves.  “The slaves” are some of Michelangelo’s partial works and they are trapped in their stone.  We stood there gazing upon the cold, hard, unfinished rock.  Dad Hoyle broke our silence, “These statues may also represent how some children feel about learning.  Trapped!  It is up to us as educators to free those children.”  During my ten years in education I came across dozens and dozens of children who appeared ensnared in their minds, in their learning, and in their processing.  Intelligent, capable, even gifted children; square little pegs that did not fit into the round holes of institutionalized learning.  And now I have my own little work of art who sometimes seems trapped in her mind and it is up to me to do all  I can to free her.

Lesson #3:  Dr. Hoyle instructed, “Never build hurdles in your mind, because the hurdles on the track are much smaller than the hurdles in the mind.”  What are your hurdles? I feel like I spend my whole day jumping over hurdles.  Sometimes I can even visualize them in front of me.  Some hurdles are taller than others.  For example, the “how am I going to get them dressed and out the door” hurdle is slightly higher than the “what are we going to eat for dinner hurdle,” because usually we order out and the girls have chicken nuggets or PB&J.  Anyway, I try to keep Dr. Hoyle’s advice in my mind at all times.  And it helps.

Lesson #4:  At the end of our study abroad Dr. Hoyle gave each of us a clear marble.  He told us that the marble represented a crystal ball.  He said, “You are all exceptional people.  During your life, when times get rough, when you get kicked around, look into the crystal ball, think good thoughts, and know that things will get better.”  I still get emotional when I think about his “you are returning to the real world and soon you will have to be grown-ups” address.  From challenges in teaching and graduate school to the pain of infertility – it all got better.  If you are going through a difficult time now I encourage you to find a clear marble, look inside it, think good thoughts, say a prayer, and tell yourself, “things will get better.”

 Me.  Crying. After Dad Hoyle gave us a crystal ball.

Lesson #5:  “Three Coins in the Fountain” is a 1954 romantic comedy.  In the film, three American women dream of finding love while working in the city of Rome.  Dad Hoyle sang the lyrics to the theme song throughout our trip. 

Click on the link below to listen to the song.  You will like it, I promise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YxRNdgY5vg

Three coins in the fountain,
Each one seeking happiness.
Thrown by three hopeful lovers,
Which one will the fountain bless?

Three hearts in the fountain,
Each heart longing for its home.
There they lie in the fountain,
Somewhere in the heart of Rome.

 Amy in the fountain

Our little Italian Aggie family found love during that summer.  Not romantic love. I love my Italian sisters and my Italian parents more today than I did fifteen years ago.  I think they will all agree that we have experienced blissful blessings following our coin throwing ritual into the Trevi Fountain. 

There is not another soul like Dr. John Hoyle’s on this wide and wonderful planet.  Maybe that is why I felt so sad when I learned of his death?  In my heart I wanted him here spreading laughter and happiness and Aggie spirit. I wanted his GOODNESS here with me.  But that is my own selfishness.  I cannot imagine the party that took place when Dad Hoyle arrived in heaven.  I cannot imagine the line of people who waited in line to embrace him and welcome him into God’s kingdom. 

For now, I will keep his lessons in my heart.  Until I see him again.  I hope he’s singing “Three Coins in the Fountain” when he hugs me in heaven.